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09 Jan BREAKING NEWS: Gaza War Turns Nuclear!

Posted at 02:12h in Current Events, I Love Hebrew, Israelis Make Me Laugh, Now I'm Just Being Silly, The War Zone 0 Comments

This just in: WE'RE IN A WAR ZONE!!!! CNN said so, people, so it must be true. In fact, my camel Chumus-hump just took two bullets to the solarplexus. EVERYBODY FREAK OUT!!!!!!!!! I don't want to cause mass panic here but this conflict...

08 Dec Nope, No War Zone Here, Keep Moving

Posted at 00:15h in I Love Hebrew, Israelis Make Me Laugh, The War Zone 0 Comments

From a fruit juice stand in Tel Aviv. Rimon in English is pomegranate. Well...

16 Nov Osem, Bissli, and Bamba: Time to Fire Your Marketing Staff

Posted at 01:00h in Israelis Make Me Laugh, Now I'm Just Being Silly 0 Comments

So last week, I brought up kugels and bagels and how maybe we Israelis should call our snotty people bissli and bamba. That led me to do a little online research about everybody's favorite Israeli snack food. Talk about learning something. Seriously,...

21 Oct ‘COULD WE GET THE DIRECTOR OF MARKETING ON THE PHONE IMMEDIATELY?!?!’

Posted at 06:56h in Comedy, Culture, I Love This Place, Israelis Make Me Laugh, This Aliyah Moment is Brought to You by the Letter Aleph 0 Comments

Before we get started, this is a final reminder to come check me and other olim out tonight in the Givatayim Storytelling Festival in...

13 Oct More Great Moments in Israeli Advertising

Posted at 01:00h in I Love This Place, Israelis Make Me Laugh 0 Comments

I rented a car recently for work and happened to come across the advertisement below. Umm, yeaaaah. Translation: "Your first time, you will remember all your life." For the love of G-d, what exactly are drivers renting in this country???" I'm fairly certain that at no...

02 Sep I Don’t Even Know What to Say (But It’s Not B’tayavon)

Posted at 00:00h in Israelis Make Me Laugh 0 Comments

CAN WE GET SOME MARKETING EXECS IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM IMMEDIATELY?!? I just lost my appetite in approximately 2.7 seconds. What exactly is the " ועוד " (and more) at the bottom? I don't think I want to find out. Fortunately thousands of tourists don't...

01 Jul Now That’s What I Call ‘Targeted Marketing’

Posted at 00:50h in Israelis Make Me Laugh, Miscellaneous, Now I'm Just Being Silly 0 Comments

Haven't written in a little while...

02 May Internet Marketing 101: Free Tips from Abu Lovitt

Posted at 03:33h in I Love This Place, Now I'm Just Being Silly 0 Comments

Good morning, my loyal readers-and now a quick lesson in internet marketing. Heard about the four P's? Let's go through them quickly. 1) Product: what you're selling. Let's take Mexican food in Israel for example. It's nasty. Good luck marketing that. 2)...

06 Apr Just Call Me Abu Lovitt

Posted at 12:40h in I Love This Place, Miscellaneous, Now I'm Just Being Silly 0 Comments

Ok, Google, ya might want to work on those targeted ads. How in Allah's name did this happen? Did someone buy a Koran on my computer when I was in the bathroom?...

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