Top 10 Developments from Miss Universe Pageant

My latest on the Times of Israel….

Yesterday, Beirut was up in arms at an Instagram photo of Miss Israel and Miss Lebanon appearing together at the Miss Universe pageant.

Without further ado, here are the top 10 other developments from the pageant:

10. Miss Lebanon feigned ignorance when asked if Miss Syria had installed parental controls on all her internet accounts.

9. After the photobombing incident, the UN Security Council condemned Miss Israel for not dropping photoleaflets beforehand.

8. After Miss America pushed her into the mud, Miss Iraq retaliated by tossing spitballs at Miss Israel (fortunately they were wildly inaccurate).

7. Miss Lebanon fumed to the judges claiming Miss Israel’s Jewish shape-shifting talents gave her an unfair advantage in the swimsuit contest.

6. After Miss Israel withdrew from the bathroom of their hotel suite, Miss Lebanon responded by launching shampoo bottles at her. Miss Iran denied putting her up to it.

5. Despite letting Miss Israel sit at their lunch table, Miss Jordan and Miss Egypt talked trash about her the minute she left to powder her nose.

4. Even though Miss Syria killed all 20 of her own trained doves before the talent competition, the international judges docked 100 points from Miss Israel and Miss Israel only.

3. After the Q&A stage, Miss France punched out three judges for suggesting that she had room for improvement and then refused to acknowledge that she had anger management issues.

2. Israeli spectators in the crowd bemoaned their country’s representative and hoped that that next year it would be “anyone but Miss Israel.”

1. For the umpteenth consecutive pageant, Miss America tried to play peacemaker between Miss Israel and Miss Palestine and wondered why she could never succeed.

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