Say Goodbye to Ben-Gay, There’s a New Israeli in Town

Hello, my loyal readers!  Remember the old days when I used to write blog entries?  Well, we’re turning back the clock to 2008.  What’s old is new, chumus is the new black, and my hometown basketball team the Dallas Mavericks just signed Israeli hoops star Gal Mekel as only the second Israeli ever to make the NBA (not counting current WNBA star and swimsuit model, Sarit Guf-Tov).

(By the way, as the headline confirms, Mekel “verbally committed”.  What do you think that sounded like?)

Mavericks general manager Donnie Nelson:  Gal, we’re thrilled to welcome you to Dallas.

Mekel:  Ehhhhhh, tenk you, I ahm veh-ry excited.  

Nelson:  We’ll be in touch, take care.

Mekel:  Ya’ala bye.


ELOHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Sof sof ani boreach m’hamedina d’fuka hazot!!!!!!!  (I am finally escaping from this messed-up country!)”  (back-flip off couch followed by shopping binge of things out of current budget)

(G-d, free stock images suck.  I miss the old days of stealing content.)

So mazal tov to Gal.  Next time I come home, we’re totally going out so we can speak Hebrew and make fun of people together.

Anyway, back in 2008, I wrote about my name being destroyed on my pay stub.

pay stub2Yes, Ben-Gay.

How things have changed.  While they treated me with no respect as an oleh chadash, I’m pleased to see this country now recognizes a pimp daddy when they see one.

Move over, Benji Massachusetts and Abu Lovitt, and say hello to Benjamin Bang, adult film star.


Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m wanted on the set.

“Debbie Does Dimona”, coming to a cable channel near you.

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