Star Wars, Episode VII: The Fight at Arnona

Boker tov-did you have a nice Shabbat?  Funny how after five-plus years here, I’ve realized that I call the weekend “Shabbat” irrespective of religious connotations.  I had a typical lazy weekend in Jerusalem, relaxing and watching illegally downloaded movies, or as I like to call them, “movies”.  On the topic of copyright infringement, I was chatting with my friend Jason about SOPA, trying to figure it all out.  I don’t know enough about the topic to have come to an opinion yet but as I’ve discussed with my chumus club friends, it is bizarre that ever since Napster came along, everybody steals music and movies with no conscience.  I appreciate the major companies’ desire to take action but as Jason put forth, perhaps Congress should be using tweezers to combat piracy, not a sledgehammer.  Which brings me to my main question:  “how do you combat piracy with tweezers?”

Whatever…I’ve got “movies” to watch.

This weekend, I decided to rewatch the “Star Wars” trilogy, as it had been several years.  I’m sure I saw these approximately 87,500 times as a kid but not in at least fifteen years or so, when they were rereleased in theaters during my last semester in college, and probably not for many years before that. I wanted to see if I would appreciate them different as an adult.  (Ever see a movie as a kid and then realize many years later that you might have missed some important details the first time around?  I seem to remember “The Sound of Music” being on TV on Thanksgiving.  As far as I could tell, it was a happy movie about family, dogs biting, bees stinging, lonely goats, and other stuff.  A couple of hours in, I’d fall asleep.  Fast-forward to adulthood.  Do you know what that movie is really about?  NAZIS!  Lots of ’em!  Big, bad ones!  Austria in the 1930s…who would have thunk it?  Kind of put a damper on all the frolicking and “do-re-mi” shenanigans (shenaniganim)).

A few things which popped into my mind while watching the trilogy…

  • C3PO speaks over six million forms of communication…and I can’t learn Hebrew.  That sucks.  Then again, maybe he lived in a city where he could better immerse himself with foreign droids.  By the way, I wasn’t able to place his accent.  What part of London is he from?
  • Who had a more annoying training process?  Luke, living in a swamp, or Daniel-san, having to build an entire deck?  It’s not clear.  Either way, seems like pretty good preparation for the army.  Are Jedis exempt from service like charedim?  Seems like studying the ways of the Force would be a pretty good excuse.  And on that note, the Emperor was definitely an extremist.  That guy should lighten up (and consider eye make-up).  And what are the odds that Mr. Miyagi was based on Yoda?  If you replace Yoda’s pointy ears with Mr. Miyagi’s love of the bonsai tree, they’re pretty darn similar.
  • I’m not embarrassed to say that I think I know “Spaceballs” better than “Star Wars” (again, the age thing).  Anyone who isn’t thinking “dink dink, dink dink dink DINK DINK DIIIINK!” when the Jawas show up is lying.
  • Maybe I’m late to the observation party but did anyone else catch Jabba smoking a nargila?  I would definitely not want to partake after that dude.  A Wookiee is at least kind of like a big dog (and don’t dogs have really clean teeth?)  Jabbas’s more like someone who works at Mas Hachnasa.  And on that note…

“Solo…ah ah ah….mooga beechu apple flavor.”

  • They should totally play the “Imperial Death March” when you walk into the arnona office for intimidation purposes.  If I had heard that the first time I tried to argue, I would have turned around and run home.
  • And lastly, I’m not going to wait for him to die to give a Steve Jobs-like eulogy:  Harrison Ford is the coolest dude alive.  I’ve always been more of an Indy than a Han guy but when you throw in Dr. Richard Kimble and everything else, who was more of a bad-ass?

Now I can rewatch the first (last?) three episodes which I definitely haven’t seen since the theater.  I’d love to watch them with Hebrew subtitles just to see if they translate Darth Maul as “Kenyon Darth”.

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