Hello, my loyal readers! Are you excited for July 4th, American Independence Day? Or as England calls it, “the nakba.” I’m keeping two days myself; does anyone know a good egalitarian minyan with a mechitzah and hamburgers? Just remember the important historical lesson here: no taxatzia without representatzia.
If you happen to be in Tel Aviv this evening, you can celebrate with me and some other comedians here.
Monday, July 4th, 21:30 (oh my G-d, I’m turning Israeli…) in Tel Aviv
What? Celebrate American Independence day with laughs.
Where? Pappa’s Italiano, 21:30; 12 Hillel Hazaken (near Kikar Magen David)
Who? Kandi Abelson, Jeremy Mann, me, and other funny people
How much? 45 shekels includes first drink
How do I make reservations for this unbelievable event? For reservations, call 077 300 8120 or email email@example.com
FB details here
And then there’s Thursday night in Jerusalem with Hahafuch.
Thursday night, July 7th, 20:00 in Jerusalem
What? Hahafuch comedy show with sketches, improv, and fun
Where? Malkat Sheva Theater, 26 Pierre Koenig St., one floor down from the street in the parking lot level
What about music? Musical guest Dave Flagler!
Are there going to be any immigrants telling jokes? Standup from Some Dumb Oleh!
Is this the best deal since the Ben-Gurion Administratzia? 40 shekels; 35 for senior, soldiers, and arsim; 85 for freierim. Plus, cheap beer and drinks!
Is there anyone who’s not invited? If you’re under sixteen, stay home and watch the Jonas Brothers on YouTube.
If you’re wondering why those under sixteen aren’t allowed, do I really need to explain? Some things just aren’t safe for kids. Like this cave near the Old City.
If you haven’t had your Bat-Mitzvah, get the *&^$ back!
“The entrance to the cave is allowed to adults only.” Ok, fine, “children under the age of 12 must be accompanied and supervised by an adult.” Boy, talk about pushovers. Unfortunately, you can’t see the bottom of the sign: “you win, babies can enter the cave alone and play with sharp objects.”
See you soon. Chag sameach!
Hahafuch member Debbie tells you what you should be doing Thursday night.