Am I a Settler or Palestinian? I Can’t Decide.

Day #4 of my Fa-cation.  I feel a little like Morgan Spurlock but without all the weight gain.  What’s a guy to do when he’s not posting silly, impulsive statuses on Facebook?  Well, truth be told, pretty much the same stuff he does every other day of his life:  drink coffee, work, eat chumus….what else is there really?

As for other social media sites, I’ve pretty much sworn off foursquare. Aside from one totally unexpected run-in with a college friend who I hadn’t seen since the late 90s (during a recent visit in Dallas, of all places), I haven’t seen much use, aside from finding another way to distract myself from life, responsibility, and more important things I should probably be doing.  Now, instead of playing with my iPhone as I check in to the #74 bus, I can do something I like to call “reading.”  I’m about eighty pages into “Start-Up Nation”; so far, so good.  Who knew this place was more than bombs and camels?

Of course, I suppose one good thing about foursquare is that I can document my travels.  No matter where I go in the world, as long as there’s a 3G connection, I can record my check-ins throughout the international community.  In Dallas….in New York….in the Office Depot of the Palestinian territories.

What, you hadn’t heard?  Seems that the Kenyon Hadar mall in Talpiot is now part of the future Palestinian state, as seen below.  Surprisingly, the clientele seems to be mostly Israelis.  I went just recently and quite honestly felt completely at ease there (despite the large number of arsim in the food court).  See, you pessimistic bastards, co-existence is possible.  Who would have dreamed that a Jewish boy from Texas could one day be the mayor of an Arab town?  IF YOU WILL IT, IT IS NO DREAM, BABY!!!!!!!!

It’s fun being Palestinian. Just call me Abu Lovitt.

Move over, Goldie Wilson…I’M GONNA CLEAN UP THIS TOWN!

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