Good morning, my loyal readers! Enjoying the gorgeous Israeli weather? As I just wrote on those popular social media sites, if global warming hasn’t made it to Israel, then I have some lovely beachfront property in Ramallah to sell you. Good G-d, why am I in my room with the window open, wearing shorts? Oh yeah, because it’s warm as hell. (And my jeans are in Ahmed’s Laundromat in South Ramallah.)
And on that note, not sure what Wunderground.com is but a Google search of “Jerusalem weather” brought this up first. Apparently they provide information about the weather and in the words of my friend Martin, had their map of Israel drawn by drunken elves.
If you have knowledge of meteorology and the art skills of a first-grader, we’re hiring.I love that it’s so warm, I just wish I actually knew the temperature. Yes, I am a dumb American who only knows the non-metric system. You could tell me it’s 55 cubic falafel units, I’d probably believe you. Sorry, America, we screwed this one up. Systems based on the power of ten are better and (check out this bombshell) what we call football isn’t football. I think we gotta get behind the rest of the world on this one.
Now when they start calling their nasty dip with alfalfa sprouts “hummus”, I draw the line. Actually, call it whatever you want, world. Just don’t call it “chumus.”
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