CAN I GET A FREAKING VOWEL UP IN HERE???

Twenty minutes ago….Cafe Hillel on Emek Refaim….me, standing in line waiting for my haloumi sandwich. While I love sandwiches in this country, I have yet to actually figure out what haloumi is or what other substance on the planet shares its texture. Are we sure they’re not accidentally putting the rubber packaging of the cheese in the sandwich?

Anyway, I see a jar of jelly on the counter labeled “ריבת משמש”.

Me: “What’s m’shamesh? Useful jelly?”
Employee: “Lo, MEESH-meesh.” (apricot)

(Laughter ensues.)

What’s that, they say? It takes five years to feel at home? Can we get NBN on the phone, please?

And since I’m typing this from the office of the Jewish organization PresenTense, I’ll include a link to a recent TV clip about their offices where free-lancers/self-employed people/arsim are invited to work (just kidding, arsim…who am I kidding, they don’t read English). Ten points if you can identify some dumb oleh in his cameo appearance.

Five points if you can figure out how to make this graphic a link.
Forty-seven points if you send me chumus.

Sorry, Mac users, this country’s working on it. Repeat after me: “We’re only 61…we’re only 61…”

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