Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Who’s the Dumbest Israeli of Them All?

So as I explained a little bit ago, I returned to Ulpan recently to brush up on…you know…HEBREW. Before I settled in on the big winner, I was doing some Ulpan shopping, starting with checking out their websites. Here’s the site of Milah, the one I eventually chose which is conveniently and oh so nicely located less than five minutes walking from my apartment.

Take a look at the “Request More Information” page. See anything odd in this picture?

B’IMA SHELI, WHO THE HELL ORIGINATING FROM ISRAEL IS DOING ULPAN??? Is this an oversight by the web designer or is there some sabra who was raised by ibexes in Ein Gedi? Actually, what would that even mean? Would the ibexes have spoken English? Can you even imagine showing up to Kita Aleph on the first day? How embarasssing would that be?

Tarzan Israeli: “Good morning. I am here for class.”
Morah: “Ehh…yes, waht eez your name?
TI: “Yuval.”
M: “Your parents ahr Eezrayli?
TI: “Yes.”
M: “Baht you ahr from….?
TI: “Israel.”

(long pause)

M: (to self) “Eez thees sahm kind of fahkeeng joke?

Me Tarzan. Me like shawarma. Me want learn Ivrit.

*Editor’s note: Please note that “fahk” in Israel is not profanity. See also “bool sheet

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