Move Over, Arkadi Gaydamak

Boker tov, my loyal readers. It’s Wednesday in Israel or as I call it….Wednesday. Woke up around 6:15 this morning for no good reason. Possibly because my trisim were open one billionth of an inch. How do you say trisim in English? Scrolling vertical blinds? When they’re closed, they can block out the sun completely, turning your room into a dark cave. If you’re not careful however, the slightest crack will give the impresssion that you are in fact five meters from the sun. So I’m up, lying in bed, and wearing Dr. Fisher SPF 35,000.

The inside of my bedroom after not closing my trisim.
I really need some new sleepwear.

I may be tired but I’m not down about it. I feel an extra spring in my step because I’m going to be rich, people. Not because Bank Leumi made me a millionaire; I have a new get-rick quick scheme. Well, it’s not actually anything but quick. Remember the scheme in “Office Space” to slowly get rich by making a fraction of a penny every time the computer rounded off? Yesterday I purchased something for 41 shekels. Well, I was supposed to purchase it for 41 shekels but only had 40 on me. No worries; the guy took my money and let me go. Would that ever happen in America? And forget the “give a penny, take a penny” phenomenon, somebody’s still paying in that case. Here rather, it’s “ahhhhh, b’seder, it’s just a shekel.” Much like the dogs in cafes from my “61 list”, this is another laid-back reason I like this place. Although as someone from capitalist America, it’s still bizarre.

Either way, it doesn’t change the fact that from now on, I’m showing up to every store exactly one shekel short. And I could certainly use the extra money. Especially because I just bought Dr. Fisher sunblock.

And NOW I’m going to go wake up.

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