Sorry If I Offended You, Nice Religious Lady

From the #8 bus just a few minutes ago….

In one seat, a religious woman praying from her little book.

In the next, some dumb oleh reading this.

Welcome to Israel! AWKWAAAAAARD!!!!!!! At one point, he turned the printed pages towards him a little bit, just in case she became curious. So my loyal religious readers, what are tehillim (the Book of Psalms)? Do people read from this every morning? I read “Angels and Demons” twice in five years and that was enough. Is it Choose Your Own Adventure-style where there’s a different ending every time?

To be redeemed with a strong hand and an outstretched arm, please turn to page 45.
To wander in the desert for 40 years…

(Remember those books, Americans? They were AWESOME! Holy shnitzel, look how many there are now. Did anyone ever make Israeli Choose Your Own Adventures?* “Escape from Miluim**!” To report to your base with other balding 37 year-olds, turn to page 45. To not answer your phone and feign ignorance, turn to page 85. Someone should totally do this. Any ideas?)

By the way, I check the NYTimes Sunday Magazine every week as the cover story is often pretty interesting. Good thing there were no pictures this week.

*I forgot that I’ve written about this once before. I think I need an intern.

**army reserves

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