HA HA! I’M RICH, BABY! I’M RIIIIIIIIICH!

You better believe it, my loyal readers! I know we’ve been through this before but this time, it appears to be the real deal! Those of you who’ve stuck with me from the beginning will be duly rewarded.

Check out the recent email I recently received:

CHEVRON/TEXACO OIL COMPANY
2 CHEVRON DRIVE, LEKKI PENINSULA
PMB 1282, LAGOS NIGERIA

TELEPHONE: +234.8067519877

THE CHEVRON/TEXACO OFFICIAL PRIZE
NOTIFICATION.

You have been selected in the on-going Chevron/Texaco award held this 11TH OF SEMPTEMBER 2008. We the promo board are pleased to inform you that, you alongside four(4) other lucky winners have been approved for a payment of $750,000.00 USD. (Seven Hundred AND Fifty thousand Dollars) in cash. Note that this promotion is mainly aimed at alleviating poverty, it is also aimed at encouraging internet Users worldwide. This email is randomly sent to five people worldwide. If you did receive this email, it means you are one of the five(5) lucky winners. Your verification number is: (CT-222-6747,FGN/P-900-56). This promotion is held to mark Chevron`s/Texaco Oil Company Aniversary. You will be required to fill out your information in the below given form and send it to the funds release officer in West Africa, as this is co-sponsored by the federal Government of Nigeria.

Please find his contact details below: CLAIMS PROCESSING OFFICER: Mr.EGHOSA MIKE EMAIL:chevron_texaco0012@yahoo.com Phone:+234.8056305576

You are also advised to provide him with the under listed information as soon as possible:

NAME IN FULL:
CONTACT ADDRESS:
AGE:
NATIONALITY:

OCCUPATION:
PHONE:
FAX:
MOBILE:
SEX (M/F):
ANNUAL INCOME:
REMARKS ABOUT CHEVRON/TEXACO:
PASSPORT PHOTOGRAPH OR ANY FORM OF LEGAL IDENTIFICATION

We are glad to have you as one of our luckly winners.

Yours Sincerely,
Alhaji:Muamadu Abuka

Online Co-ordinator…

Co-sponsors of this online promotion are listed herein:
Shell Oil
Company, Pepsi Corporation and the Federal Government of Nigeria

Obviously, it’s real. After all, they clearly state that there are only four winners. And why wouldn’t Shell Oil and Pepsi collaborate? They go together like pita and chair! And if it’s on the internet, it must be true. The only question is what to spend it on first. Here’s a quick to do list I just came up with:

  • Slip Ehud Olmert an envelope of cash with a request for him to resign immediately
  • Quit my job and publish a coffee table book of Israeli t-shirts
  • Buy the naming rights to the Kotel

Granted the list is short but it’s not like I’ve had a ton of time to reflect. Starting now, life in Israel will be easy as pie. Who needs to stand in line…WHEN YOU CAN BUY THE LINE???

It’s good to be alive.

Thank you for visiting the Lovitt Western Wall.
Enjoy your stay and, please, no mixed dancing.

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