It’s the Sabbath but It’s Not Saturday. I Must Be in America…

Clicked here yet? Just once per computer, thanks…

More odds and ends from the suburbs:

  • For the first time in my life, I just approached a Starbucks counter and knew exactly what I wanted, saying “grande latte” immediately. That was scary. I think I’m turning American.
  • If I were around any one person for enough time, I’d probably drive them mad with my non-stop comparisons about America and Israel. Really though, it’s quite odd (did I just turn British with the last 2 sentences? I’d drop a “take the piss” reference but my American readers would definitely be confused.) A few days ago at Chili’s….holy cow. There are SO MANY CHOICES on their menu. I was in shock and couldn’t stop thinking “OMIG-D, there is SO MUCH STUFF on the menu!!!!!!” Which might explain why I kept saying “OMIG-D, there is SO MUCH STUFF on the menu!!!!!” Along with all the pictures and cheesy marketing phrases, they leave nothing to the imagination, right down to the perfectly staged picture of the margarita splashing up in the air. I’m sure my friends were thinking “umm, who kidnapped Benji and replaced him with a foreign dork?”
  • I kept seeing some Nutrisystem diet commercial at the airport. You can eat pot roast! You can eat pizza! You can keep eating unhealthy crap that your body isn’t supposed to eat, as if you’re eating stuff that your body IS designed to eat!
“I never looked back….”
maybe because I couldn’t turn my burger-eating neck.
(I’m making fun of the diet, not the people. Just in case I almost offended anyone.
I am way too sensitive to write this blog.)
  • Hey look! More CNN! With the presidential race in full swing, I could watch that for hours. They do a story on the boyfriend of Sarah Palin’s daughter who slipped one by the shomer (guard) if you know what I mean. Well, the story wasn’t on him per se, but rather the intense and over-the-top media coverage of him. Ok, I’m sorry, if you’re an overbearing media outlet doing a story on the overbearing media outlets, you’re an idiot. Just like the ESPN sportscaster a few months back saying “I AM SICK AND TIRED OF EVERYBODY TALKING ABOUT BARRY BONDS.” Dude, stop talking about Barry Bonds.
  • I know I never talk politics here but how can anyone get past the fact that Obama voted “present” 130 times and McCain voted with Bush 90% of the time? I can’t in good faith throw my complete support and confidence behind, or bash either candidate. We need more candidates.
  • On my way to the airport, I offered to help one guy take his bags off the shuttle. A few minutes later, I grabbed some other guy’s bags at the security check-in and lifted them off the carousel for him. They may or may not have thought I was an alien.
Hey, can I help you?
No, I’m not from outer space. Just from Tel Aviv.
  • I walked up and down the terminal looking for an acceptable breakfast option for about 15 minutes before finally settling on Burger King. When some employee sat down next to me with her unhealthy yet extremely tasty breakfast combo, saying “b’tayavon” crossed my mind. Philosophical question: is “b’tayavon” appropriate for Burger King? I feel like foods should have to pass some kind of minimum standard. It’s like making a toast at a wedding over Zima or something.
  • The 25th annual MTV Video Music Awards are tonight. Raise your hand if you give a flying falafel.

It’s Sunday here and I’m not at work. You know what that means.

24…1948…Aleph Aleph! HUT HUT!

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