Random Wednesday Work Update…I Must Be Rambling

Wow, a good number of posts this week, huh? Including last night’s surprise entry. If you saw it, hopefully you enjoyed it. I had fun. Stay tuned-let’s hope we have some video within days.

So last week, I said l’hitraot to one of my Taglit (Birthright) groups, a GLBT group from the States. (Already, someone is thinking “Why the hell did he link that? Would he link the word ‘Jew’ or ‘white’ ?” I assume someone out there isn’t down with the most up-to-date labels….I assume that at least there are Israelis who don’t know what “GLBT” means since it comes from English after all. Ok, let’s move on…)

At a bar with the group a few nights ago, I was talking to a group of lesbians about how Israelis happen to be at least one of the following:

1) slammin’
2) smokin’
3) bangin’
4) hot (Not to be confused with HOT who recently refused to change my address in their account without sending a technician to my apartment to make sure my landline was working. I was like “Dude, I work in Jerusalem. You do NOT need to send someone out, I moved five months ago, I promise you it works!” No dice; they wouldn’t change it. I had to have an Israeli friend call back and take care of business. Whatever. And on another note, it’s always good times when you tell someone you have to wait at home for the HOT guy to come. I just sat here for about 30 seconds actually considering starting a cable company just to make people have to say things like “I have to wait at home for the Sketchy guy to come.” Sounds like a perfectly reasonable company name to me. What are some other good possibilities?) And is anyone still reading this?

Mmmm…..the HOT guy.

ANYWAY….when I brought up Israeli women being attractive, these girls were like “YEAH, they are!” Then I started thinking (always dangerous): when a girl wants to set up a guy, the guy first asks her how attractive she is before doing what, men? That’s right, asking a guy for confirmation. His word carries more weight. But when talking to these ladies who dig ladies, I thought “In this case, who is the higher authority on how attractive a woman is?” Is it me, a dude, or them, women? For some reason, I feel like this isn’t the type of philosophical question that rabbis are trained to handle. Maybe Dr. Drew from “Loveline.”

Is Dr. Drew in my kupat cholim? No? Damn.

The Hebrew-speaking’s going ok. I need to practice more after this crazy period ends but it’s at least not getting worse. One day at lunch, some co-workers were shmoozing while I was immersed in my salad. One of them asked me after I was silent for a few minutes, “Are you following the conversation?” At some point, does a foreign language cease to just be noise? I mean, if I’m paying attention, I can get a fair amount of it but if not….totally tune it out. Someone could threaten to shove a hot, iron poker in my eye socket and spread rumors about my recent date with Bea Arthur and I’d be completely oblivious to it. So if you happen to hear anything about me and a certain Golden Girl, you can be sure I was really enjoying lunch that day.

Thank you for being a friend.

Didn’t you hear? Israelis are hot!