Harrison Ford Looks So Good, He Must Have Maccabi Zahav

That’s what I have anyway.

Hello, my loyal readers-I’m back from the dead. Or from the sick, but that’s a story for my next entry. Work is proving to be incredibly busy, so busy in fact that my plans several years in the making for this past Thursday were thrown off. I’ve seriously been waiting YEARS for the release of the new Indiana Jones movie, monitoring the IMDB page since it first went up who knows who many months or years ago.

I was thrilled to discover that the worldwide release included Israel although something else made no sense at all to me: according to this page, it came out Thursday in the States…but Wednesday in Egypt??? HUH??? This country has its border walls blown up by the residents of Gaza but they’re somehow screening the most awaited movie in years before the Stars and Stripes? Were the Palestinians trying to see the movie??? I guess Khan Yunis doesn’t have stadium seating.

For those of you who can’t read Hebrew, this reads
“Indiana Jones and the Search for Tel Aviv Parking.”

Sadly, a seminar foiled my plans to “camp out” for tickets a couple of hours early like I haven’t done since “The Phantom Menace” opened up (we probably arrived 2 hours before the show began.) I can’t even imagine what reaction that would have elicited in this country.

Me: “Two tickets to the 5:30 showing of Indiana Jones, please.”
Guy Behind Window (confused look): “Deh movie does not start for 2 hours! Deh people een deh 3 PM movie are steel smoh-keeng ceeg-arehts in parking lot!”

At least I don’t have to worry about the Israeli papers providing spoilers. Some stupid Canadian paper already ruined a surprise when I was reading an article online. For you aspiring journalists out there, understand that most people read pretty quickly. Here is how to do a spoiler alert:

“The new movie rocks!

(SPOILER ALERT!!! SKIP TO THE NEXT SECTION IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE THIS!!!”

Spiderman and his Bat Yam girlfriend defeat the evil Russian gangsters with his whip and a plate of chumus ful.”

This is how NOT to run a spoiler:

“Who woulda thought that the killer is (spoiler alert!) the hairy falafel guy.” I don’t know about you guys but my eyes can’t stop that fast. Idiots.

Anybody seen the movie yet? Maybe I’ll go to Cinema City. Can’t wait.

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