Ech Omrim ‘Rat Race’? Never Mind…I Won’t Understand Anyway

Hello, my loyal readers-how in the heck are you? I’m good. As expected, Yom Hazikaron and Yom Ha’atzmaut were simply amazing, moving, and inspiring. I can’t seem to write about holidays in less than five billion words (see any past entry about a chag) so you can expect an update around the time Lag B’Omer rolls around. I have GREAT video from Kikar Rabin (and on the #18 bus interviewing some old lady)…anybody want to come to my apartment and edit this stuff in iMovie?

So why am I too busy to write a recap? Because of my new job, that’s why. And, boy, is it a challenge so far. Let me make this very clear: this is not a disgruntled employee about to complain about his job (if I did that in my blog, I’d be an idiot…especially because my department director is on the mailing list.) What this is is my sense of humor attempting to get me through this period. The people are amazing, I’m gonna love it, it’s gonna be incredibly rewarding, but in the short term, in addition to some other factors, the language issue is proving to be a challenge. Which is kind of like saying “Siberia is proving to be chilly.”

When my co-workers are working till midnight before the insanely busy season (which is actually upon us), I’m trying to do the math to understand where I’m going to find more hours in the day. I have 70-something emails in my inbox, I can’t read them because they’re in Hebrew, and I’m superstressed. Time is of the essence, people, which is why I’ve developed some oleh chadash professional strategies to make it through my Hebrew work day. Here are some of them:

Stimulus:

Desk phone rings.

Response:

“Go to hell. I’m making snow angels on the Ayalon before I answer that.”

Stimulus:

My inbox fills up.

Response:

Is it sent only to me? No? “Go to hell, I’m hitting delete, I don’t care if it’s Billy Bob Ben-Gurion telling me we’re having Cosmos on Tuesday.”

Stimulus:

Department meeting commences. Lasts two hours, all in Hebrew. “If there’s something important, say it in the first hour before my brain shuts down.” They could have announced that Steven Tyler was taking over lead vocals on the Kaveret reunion tour, I wouldn’t have given a flying falafel.

One positive development was when my boss mercifully switched my Windows to English which of course then switched the way the dates were written. Just after I had actually gotten used to the European style. An Outlook reminder pops up for a meeting on 5/7, last Wednesday, and the first thing that pops in my head is “Huh??? Why is this reminding me about a meeting on July 5th???”

Good thing we Jews have senses of humor. I’m going to need it.

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