The Shawarma-nator

And now…a look at life in Israel.(2 minutes before this exchange, a co-worker I barely know invited me to his Seder. Good Lord, Israelis are the most hospitable people in the universe.)

Benji: Why are Israelis so nice? You can’t go to miluim (army reserves), we need KILLERS!
Co-worker: I become a kee-lehr, you have to make deh sweetch.
Benji: How do you do it?
Co-worker: You hev to do eet…you heve to be dee-fehr-ent on deh battlefield.
Benji: What about “Uri”, he can’t be a killer. (pointing to other really nice co-worker).
Co-worker: Uri, tell heem how we make deh sweetch.
Uri: (doesn’t even turn his head from computer, without flinching) No mohr Meester nice guy.

I’m sorry, I don’t care what your politics are, that’s funny. I swear that was from a Schwarzenegger movie.
Here’s another short exchange from last week when I was out with a couple of co-workers past midnight.

Benji: I will never believe how little sleep I have gotten since moving here! I would neeeeeeeeeeeever be out this late on a weeknight in America!
Lady: Israelis know how to hev fahn, you know!
Benji: It’s crazy! We have to wake up in the morning!
Lady: In Israel, you have fun tonight because tomorrow you can die.

This honesty moment has been brought to you by the number “taysha.”

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