Even the Animals Speak Hebrew

This past weekend, I went up north to visit my friend Michael. That’s Mi-kha-el (as in “who is like G-d”, Hebrew), not Michael (as in Jackson, freak of nature.) Saturday morning, while I’m sitting at the table with his two kids, he starts to give me a tour of the breakfast cereals: there’s Cheerios, some whole-wheat concoction, and Shalva, which apparently is a classic, old-school cereal which is cheap and has been around since the days of King David.

When looking at the Shalva bag, I see that it has “peh gadol” written on it. Michael explains that while, yes, it does mean “big mouth”, it’s also what parents say to little kids before they shove food down their throats. What’s the English equivalent? “Open wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide….”?

So I start playing with the 1.5 year old, saying “peeeeeeeeeeeeh gadooooooooool!” before feeding myself. He repeats. Then I say “peh gadol v’ozen gadol!” (big mouth and big ear), as I hold my left ear out with one hand and shovel the cereal into my mouth with the other. He repeats. Ahhh….seems that we have a game of follow the leader!

“Peh gadol v’einayim g’doloooot! (big mouth and big eyes)
“Peh gadol v’oseh kmo chatuuuuuuul!” (….and does like a cat: “meow meow!”)
“Pet gadol v’oseh kmo keleeeeeeeeeeev!” (….and does like a dog: “ruff ruff!”)

(pause)

1.5 Year Kid: “Mah zeh ‘ruff ruff’ ?”

Who the hell ever heard a sheep say “meh meh?”
CLEARLY they’re saying “bah”. When they talk. To me. Often.
Mah zeh “ruff ruff”….THAT was funny.
Anybody want to explain the Hebrew animal language? Ayn li koach.
The bird says “tseef tseef!”
The rooster says “kookooreekoo!”
The ars says “AHLO AHLO!”
And, yes, this means that the 1.5 year old speaks better than I do.
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