Thank You for Not Smoking (Except for in the Stairwell, You Freaks of Nature)

Two days in a row, my loyal readers…we’re baaaaaaaaaaack!!!

Ok, we already talked about aliens invading Delta-Israel. I don’t want to be an alarmist or anything but I just got a company email which makes me question who wrote it. This sounds way too American to have been written by an Israeli.

Hi All,

It has come to our attention that some people have been smoking inside the building, where it’s strictly prohibited.

We kindly ask you not to smoke inside the building/public areas. Smoking is permitted only in designated areas.

Thank you four your cooperation
in this matter,

The Administration Dept.

 

Here’s how I would have written it after one-and-a-half years of living in Israel.

Ehhhhhhh…chevre!
To ev-rybody who smoke inside….mah, atem dafukim l’gamre???

(optional open-palm wrist twist for residents of Bat Yam and Holon)

B’simcha,
Moshik, Mankal

(Do you like how I completely ignore the part about PEOPLE SMOKING INSIDE AN OFFICE??? Hey, I’m Israeli. Should I also make fun of the sun rising in the east?)