How Can Someone Wet Her Pants But Still Conjugate in Passive Tense?

Good morning, my loyal readers-I hope to have my Purim update online in the next 24 hours. I’m having some logistical issues in the camera department which will be resolved soon. As always, it was a nice holiday experience. I hope you all had a chag sameach and to any of my Christian readers (do I have any Christian readers?), a happy Easter to you.

Today is our company costume contest and several employees brought their kids to work. Lemme tell you…there is nothing cuter than little Israeli kids (quite possibly because they represent the small segment of the population whose Hebrew is on my level). And of course, when you see a baby, a dog, or a kid in the office, you are bound by the laws of physics to drop what you’re doing and pay attention to them.

So when I saw a little 5 year-old in costume, I made my way over to say hello. No matter what the language, you assume your “talking to a little kid voice” with inflections and slow pace of speech.

Boker toooooooov! (Good morning)”
Bat kamah aaaaaaht? (How old are you?)”
“Sorry, we’re aaaaaaaall out of Absolut.” Just kidding.

I always wonder…what do little kids think about immigrants who speak another language? At what age do kids understand the presence of different languages and countries? Did this kid think I was an alien? I assume Israeli kids figure it out faster than Americans because of all the English in their lives, starting with on television.

After about a minute of conversing, I said to the girl in Hebrew, “I think that your Hebrew might even be better than mine!”

She replies, “I know.”

Are they just born honest here or what? Is there even a translation for “white lie” in this country? Throw me a bone, kid.

Is there another situation in which a five year-old is better than you in some area? I don’t care who you are, that sucks.

A classic comedy about a man who must be brutally honest with everyone around him.
In Israel, “Liar Liar” is translated as “Tuesday”.

Update: I just heard the girl speaking Russian to her father. I feel dumb.

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