Who Needs a Vacation?

My dear friend Sarit keeps urging me to get back to writing about my life and the ridiculous experiences I have (you know, like with Israeli model Nivit Bash or with the human….um, the guys dressed up in costume).I know, I need to; it’s just more time-consuming and I’m a perfectionist with what I write on here.And when the ridiculous headlines come into the war zone, they’re impossible to resist.

Now…it wasn’t long ago that this story ran in Jpost, exposing the sex habits of Israeli women.So to speak.Jewish hornballs launched an attack on that server in an lightning-quick strike that would have made Moshe Dayan proud.The offensive was led by me and Lieutenant General Tal A. as we single-handedly visited this page 120,000 times in one hour forwarding it to our friends. (The Lieutenant General’s last name is being kept confidential for security reasons. That or because he told me he doesn’t want people to see this when they Google him.)

Well, guess what?Haaretz is getting in on the action with this story about Israeli women and what they like to do on vacation.

For Israeli women, going on vacation means more sex and lots of touristy activities – whether they are with their partners or not…. Such are the findings of a new study of the sexual behavior of vacationing Israeli women, conducted by the Department of Hotel and Tourism Management at Ben-Gurion University of the Negev…..

The study’s findings show that having sex is an important factor in a woman’s satisfaction from her tourism experience.In some cases, it is even an essential element and/or a motivating factor for the vacation, meaning that the vacation is perceived as an opportunity for a couple to conduct their sexual relationship in a new, relaxed environment……a trip backpacking was described by participants in the study as an opportunity to have casual sex in a foreign environment. In such instances, the number of sex partners increases….

In an unrelated note, it is with great excitement that I would like to announce the launching of my new business venture, Benji Massachusetts Travel Agency. When you travel with tour guide Benji Massachusetts, you can be sure you are getting the finest in relaxed environment, the finest in trip backpacking, and the finest in whatever the hell else these women said they wanted.

It’s amazing how quickly you can throw
an office together during your lunch break.

We currently offer trips to Thailand, South America, the Far East, and for women hailing from rural Israel who consider Tel Aviv to be a tourist attraction, an apartment on Sderot Chen near Kikar Rabin.(Please be advised that the other person living in the apartment goes to bed around 10 PM.Parking not included.) Having been a practicing tour guide since 2:45 PM, let me assure you that I have your traveling interests in mind, ladies.I provide interesting descriptions of sites which may or may not be similar to what you might find on Wikipedia and am known for my ability to distinguish between Asians and South Americans, especially after hearing their accents.

So call now…operators are standing by!

What will we learn next about the habits of Israeli women? LET’S GO, YNET!!! BATTER UP!!!

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