This is Why I’m Going to Ulpan?

So I started a new job yesterday, my loyal readers. I’m a content writer for an online marketing firm and that’s all I’m gonna say for now.

Some of you in the place called chul might be asking yourself, “Self? How does an oleh chadash struggling with Hebrew manage to get by working in another country’s office environment?”

Well, I’ll tell you. You speak English. Whoever said that the international language is love was listening to too much Chicago. (Why was every one of their songs about getting dumped? For the love of G-d, I like “Greatest Hits 1982-1989” as much as the next ’80s child but how depressing are those songs???) The official language of my company is English which means that emails, meetings, internal communications are conducted officially in English.

Israel’s official language is Hebrew. Except for on t-shirts.

If I didn’t get the memo, I figured it out my first day. My boss sent me an email with some information. I hit reply and tried to write “תודה (thank you).” Only one problem: there’s no Hebrew font installed on my computer.

Please tune in this Wednesday at 9 AM to see Eliezer Ben-Yehudah and Theodore Herzl engaged in a grave-rolling competition. Ech omrim “grave-rolling competition?”