Hello, my loyal readers, we’re back. I saw that the writers strike in the States has come to an end. And thank goodness for that because there is some real junk on TV right now. Take the newest season of “Tomorrow’s Pioneers”, broadcast on Hamas television.
Yikes. We Jews have enough on our proverbial plates as it stands: genocide, taking over the world…who wants to be dinner? (I must admit however, I taste divine with a honey mustard vinaigrette.)
Here are my thoughts on “Tomorrow’s Pioneers”:
- Was this made by a 3rd grader? The production is terrible. It’s 2008…have these people seen “Shrek”? Gimme some CGI…morphing…HD…something! Costumes….terrible. Soundtrack…lame. Somebody should lose their job over this.
- A couple of dudes start giving CPR to the bee but they’re not using quick breaths. Didn’t you learn this stuff at your terrorist camp? I sure as heck learned it at my summer camp. I hated the swimming lessons but I guess it paid off. Next time I have to resuscitate a 200 pound bee, you can be sure I’ll know how to do it.
- The acting is horrendous. Who’s the fat dude with the beard just sitting there with his back to the camera? Yeah, he looks concerned. This is the most unemotional death scene I’ve seen since Susan licked the toxic envelopes.
- We meet Saraa, the narrator. Saraa…baby…it’s 2008. You gotta spunk it up a little. That’s what girls like in their role models. Hannah Montana, Spice Girls…show some cleavage. (Ech omrim “cleavage” in Arabic? Ech omrim “ech omrim” in Arabic?)
- I just saw Winnie the Pooh in the background. In Hamas, it’s translated as “Winnie the Shaheed.”
- For those of you who don’t know the Gaza dialet of Arabic, I will translate the scrolling text at the bottom. “In the GBA, the Rafah Blue Bombers defeated the Khan Yunis Suicide Devils 101-89. For breaking 100, all Jenin fans with a ticket stub can receive one free shawarma at Ahmed’s After Dark.”
- Ok, now it’s getting good. We meet the rabbit, Assud. Um…why is he calling the human “father”? What the hell is going on here? Assud, about the wrap-around whiskers…you can get that waxed you know. I’m just saying.
- Olim, to get your key of return, please call Nefesh B’Nefesh. If you don’t stay three years, you must return it.
- The interview: apparently they used the old Pee-Wee’s Playhouse studio? And what’s the reward for Assud killing himself, 72 carrots? Ehhh….what’s up, Doc(tor Rantissi)?
- Ok, he was raised by a human, he’s called “lion”, he’s a bigot…dude, this rabbit has a serious identity crisis. Forget the Anti-Defamation League. WHERE IS PETA IN ALL THIS???
In conclusion, this show sucks. Welcome back, writers-we missed you.
(Thanks, Mort, for the heads up.)