What, You Were Expecting Paul Shaffer?

Another reminder to RSS readers…be sure to make this change.

I got the call yesterday. They’re renovating the building and it’s time to move on. You know what means, my loyal readers…some lucky Tel Avivi could get to live with me! Who knows of a vacancy?

With apologies to David Letterman, from our home office in Bat Yam, here are tonight’s top 10 reasons to live with Benji Lovitt:

10) I know how to clean the floor like a local

9) I know how to NOT clean a sink (someone still brings this up every month)

8) I can whip up a delicious breakfast that won’t lead to cardiac arrest

7) I’ve learned that everything’s gonna be ok

6) I’ve mellowed out over the years

5) I can teach Israelis a few things about the New York stock exchange

4) While I may not be able to build furniture, my gever gever friends can

3) I’m over my blepheritis

2) I’ll make you laugh

And the number one reason that you’re all going to forward me any apartment opening you hear about or take me in…

1) If I don’t find an apartment in 44 days, I’m making yerida.

Somewhere in Jerusalem, an alarm bell just went off. LET’S GO, Nefesh B’Nefesh! HOOK A BROTHA UP!!!

44 days…the clock is ticking…JEWS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!!!!

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