Israeli Sex Festival: I’m Not Touching These Punchlines with a Ten-Foot… (Oy)

According to an article today on Ynet, the first ever Israeli sex festival will be coming to the Holy Land in February. Frankly, I don’t know what’s more shocking: the things we can expect at “Sextival” or the coverage in the linked article.What else does Ynet tell us?

The three-day event promises to bring ordinary Israelis closer to the wilder aspects of the commandment to procreate through strip shows, innovative sex toy exhibits and presentations on various fetishes.

It’s not exactly a dangling participle (ech omrim “dangling participle”?) but what’s with the sentence construction there, Ynet? I haven’t talked to the Rebbe in a while but I wasn’t aware of the commandment to procreate through strip shows. That must have just missed the two tablets.

And what’s an “ordinary Israeli?” According to dictionary.com, “ordinary” means “plain or undistinguished: ordinary clothes.” I’m not going to indict all Israelis in the incredibly stylish city of Tel Aviv, but man, I have seen some ridiculous UN-ordinary clothes out there. What is the DEAL with the English t-shirts people wear in this country? I won’t go into detail…you can see a good unordinary example here.

(Organizer Nitzan Kirshenboim) even contacted legendary industry icon Hugh Hefner, who has agreed to host in his mansion the lucky few who will win a raffle that will be held at the event.

I don’t even know what to say about this. Take a stab, commenters. I’ll see you at the festival.

Still reading? Sign up for updates on the right! It’s the 13th commandment. Just after procreation through off-shore gambling.