It’s been too long, my loyal readers, and for that I apologize. If you’ve wondered where I’ve been for the last 2 weeks, well…I’m in chul. Short for “chutz la’aretz“, or outside of Israel, this is how Israelis refer to everywhere abroad. For all you aspiring olim out there, you must use this word correctly. I’m not going chul. I’m in chul, as if it’s a country itself.
- If you see someone drinking out of a mug, and that mug can hold up to 64 ounces of liquid…you might be in America.
- If the Cingular employee has to use a fourth-grade teacher passive-aggressive voice two times to tell the same impatient customer to sign in and please wait his turn, and you sense that she actually wants to bludgeon his face with a pick-ax…you might be in America.
- If your host has one of these…you might be in America.
- If you put your CHILD ON A LEASH…well…you know the rest.
- If you finish a meal without a vegetable within a 7 mile radius…you might be in America.
I ask you now, my loyal readers. How do you know you’re in America?
I love you, America; it’s good to be back.