Get in Line, Sons of Bitches

Last night, I boarded a bus from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. Well, to be accurate, I was forced on by a raging mob of impatient pushers and line-cutters. Why they had to push, I have no idea, since we were standing close to the front of the line and all those in my vicinity were assured seats on the bus. Ten minutes earlier, as I was closer to the back of the line, I watched the same phenomenon, as a different group of pushers practically ran over an elderly woman until the driver got out of his seat and screamed something to the effect of “WHAT IN THE *#&^ ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING???” This juvenile, inconsiderate, selfish, and potentially dangerous behavior is disgusting.

To the @$$holes who did their best to recreate the Smashing Pumpkins fatal mosh pit, I dedicate this song.

To the tune of “David Melech Yisrael”
“Hey! You!
Get the **** in line!
Get…your… @$$ in line!

Get your ****ing @$$ in line!
Get the **** in line!
Get your ****ing @$$ in line!
Get the **** in line!

Aaaaaaaaata!
(Manyak!)
Manyak!
(Ata!)

GET IN LINE!
(You’re a ****!)
You’re a ****!
Yes, you are!

When you sing it, I recommend dressing up as your favorite Biblical hero or Zionist thinker. (It’s educational for the kids.)

This can be the beginning of a revolution, my loyal readers! As Theodore Herzl so eloquently stated, “If you will it, it is no dream.” I dream of lines; do you dream, too?

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