No Better Place to Raise Children (Especially as Smokers)

Israel: no better place to raise kids. Everybody here knows it. Far away from the crime-ridden streets of America lies a place with friendly neighbors, parks, and of course, no random gun violence.

And, ahhh, the beach. Fun for the whole family! Journey down to Eilat like I did yesterday, and you’ll find a land of sun, relaxation, and fun. Heck, I even found the old “insert a coin, maneuver the claw, and win a prize” game! WHAT KID DOESN’T LIKE THAT???

(pause)

I guess I’m just used to prizes like fuzzy dice and silly putty…

“Hey, Shmulik, how bout some Marlboro Lights with that choo-choo?”