The end of intermarriage

What percentage of Jewish females would marry out of the faith if Justin Timberlake was their rabbi?

We can dream, can’t we? Or you can watch this Saturday Night Live instant classic, featuring Rabbi Timberlake two minutes and sixteen seconds in.

One of the things that makes this so well-done is its satirizing of 90’s boy band videos, including the following crucial elements:
1) the ridiculous facial hair
2) the “throw-your-arms-back-like-your-jacket’s-gonna-fall-off” move, borrowed from BoyzIIMen’s “I’ll Make Love to You” video (umm….somebody like told me this or something, of course. I didn’t remember it myself. No, really.)
3) the coordinated clothes and dance moves, and so on and so forth

Girl, at 1:29 in the morning, I don’t have the energy to research this question, but have there been any Israeli boy bands? Girl, I’m not talking bands of boys, I’m talking NKOTB/Backstreet Boys/’N Sync style. Girl…I’m talking songs where they precede every line with “girl”.

Boy bands definitely serve a function in society. They fill a gap in the always rotating popular music merry-go-round which includes airhead girl pop (Britney, Christina, Jessica), edgier/singer-songwriter girl music (Alanis, Sarah McLaughlin, Lilith Fair rock)…and whatever the other genres are. (My friends who think I have zero taste in music are laughing right now.) They give young girls a reason to scream and look ridiculous. It’s true though-every few years, someone has the idea to put together a boy band to churn out cookie-cutter #1 hits and look pretty, and they end up grossing $34 bajillion, only to see 99% of it go to the record companies. New Edition, the New Kids, and the late 90s versions…isn’t it time Israel share in the fun?

What songs might they sing? Here are some samples which came to mind…
“Tayelet Girl”
“Tachzori Li, Boobah”
“Don’t Forget Me, Motek”
“Ya’alah, Yaldah”
“Hotter than the Negev” (this could only be pulled off on the follow-up album when the band attempts to create an edgier, older image)

You’re telling me this wouldn’t work? These ideas are GOLD, my loyal readers. We just need to make it happen.