Which Way Did He Go George, Which Way Did He Go?

In just a few hours, 437ish teenagers will be landing at Ben-Gurion airport to spend the next 9 months living in Israel on Year Course.

(insert screaming sound)

(resume breathing) We’re all going directly to tiyul (a hike) where I should smell really nice 3 days from now. It should be a great time. No updates for a few days.
Remember this, kids?

So I just raced to my bank branch to pick up my ATM card and checks. I asked directions along the way. Israelis seem to give directions in a very specific manner which must include the following five things:

1) They first look off in the general direction of the destination, deep in thought, despite the fact that they probably live in this neighborhood and should have no problem telling you where you’re going.

2) They say the word “yashar” (straight) no less than 457 times while doing the “keep going” motion with their arm, before ending it with “ad ha sof” (until the end).

3) They do not give you a single street name.

4) They do not tell you how to get where you need to go, causing you to ask someone else one block later.

5) Repeat steps 1-4.

If the directions don’t include these five things, you’ve just spoken with a foreigner.

I was excited to get my ATM card. It looks like a credit card (what else would it look like?) but, of course, in Hebrew. I said to the woman waiting in line next to me with a smile “this is my first card written in Hebrew”. Suddenly, without warning, she said it. Huh? “Yiyeh b’seder” doesn’t even apply there! Apparently this phrase is more powerful than I first thought and can be played anytime under any circumstances, much like the Wild (Draw Four) card in Uno.

Finally, on the way home, I saw a driver stop his car, roll down his window, and scream at the construction worker who was standing next to a barricade, blocking a road. After yelling at each other for a minute, the driver got out, pulled the barricade to the side, and drove through anyway. Only in Israel.

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